I've already written about my moustache. I'm writing about it again. Mostly because, after months of trial and error, I have mastered the handlebar. I want to share my knowledge so that others may benefit.
Grow your moustache so that the ends are long and straggly. When I go swimming the long whiskers go into my mouth. I've learned to accept this.
At some point in your morning routine place a tin of moustache wax in your pocket to begin warming it up. I usually do this before walking Rosie so that I can groom myself upon my return.
Brush your teeth. It makes so much more sense to do this before waxing.
Starting from the center, brush the hairs out with a comb. When the wax is at least as warm as your skin, scrape some on to your nail and roll it into a (small) pea-size ball. Rub the wax between the left and right index fingers, distributing it equally. Mush the wax between your index fingers and thumbs. Now, here's the key - run these fingers under very hot water, as hot as you can stand until you can feel the wax melting.
With these hot, waxy and still wet fingers, rub into the ends of your moustache. Start smoothing out the long whiskers while twisting and pinching a bit towards the ends. Do this a few times and eventually introduce the ends skyward. Then clean off your fingers in very cold water. What little wax that remained on your digits will rub off much easier when cold. With your wet, cold fingers, tap the handlebar into place a few more times. The cold will harden the wax and set the shape.
Obviously you'll have to check it throughout the day as it will droop and become assymetrical. This is unavoidable.